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Hi, everyone!

Welcome to OUTSIDE. As in "take it outside." You can think of this as the fighting ring, or the playground at recess. You can hash out your resentments and your personal dramas and your pet peeves here -- but ONLY here. Please allow me to explain:

We offer user forums because we really want PlayFirst to be a community and a fun site at which to hang out, whether playing casual games or just enjoying one another's company. Like all websites with open forums, we work hard to maintain a balance between making sure no one feels censured or dismissed, and keeping the conversations welcoming and relevant for people who like their chat sans the vitriol or drama.

So far, we've chosen to be extremely conservative with the use of the delete button. But as the exchanges between members increase, so do the fights. Some people will argue that nothing in a virtual world is "real," and therefore shouldn't upset anyone, but I disagree. I think sometimes we get to know each other better through posting than we ever would as "real world" friends. Writing can be very intimate, very touching, and also very incendiary. One griper is all it takes to ruin an entire thread (conversation, experience, site, etc.) for hundreds of people.

That's how we get here, outside. Where you can be as nasty as you want, with the following obvious exceptions, borrowed from Josh Modell's A.V. Club Blog:

-- Racist, GLBT-phobic, sexist posts. If your argument or joke requires the use of such things, your argument or joke sucks.

-- Extremely aggressive, insulting posts, especially those with absolutely no point to make. Unacceptable: "You're a BLEEP!" Acceptable: "Only a BLEEP would watch Con Air six times in a row!" Better: "You watched Con Air six times?! You should've taken IQ tests before and after to see how it affected you."

I know fights will continue popping up in random threads and when they come to my attention, if I agree that things are getting out of hand, I will ask the posters in that thread to "take it OUTSIDE." If the argument doesn't immediately cease or move to this thread, then I will consider thread deletion. Sound fair?

Oh, and I strongly advise sensitive people not to visit this thread. At all. Don't worry about defending yourself, or clarifying your point in an argument that only upsets you -- just let the whole thing move outside, and go back to chatting with your friends. This site is pretty friendly, content-wise, and I'd love to see the community remain friendly, too. But sometimes we all need a place to spit in public or practice our insults.

Outside.

How do you intend to make sure people use this thread for arguements? If a post in another thread is disruptive or "stirring the pot," will it be moved here, or simply deleted? Will any first time offender's post be left in its orginal thread? Am I making any sense at all?

i think this is a good idea! while your listening to everybodys ideas will we see the "Edit Button" option anytime soon?

Sorry Nemone, but you're already giving conflicting information. In a thread in the "Other Games" forum, you said this...

"Takin' it OUTSIDE
Ladies and gentlemen,

"I have decided not to delete this thread, however, I would encourage those who are upset by it to avoid, and I would like to send anyone who still feels heated about any of the issues in here outside.
Outside? Yep, OUTSIDE. A new stickied thread in the Lounge, OUTSIDE is an approved area for bickering, mud-slinging, insults, and the occasional jello wrestling match. However, OUTSIDE is now the ONLY place for such things."

So, you're saying insults are OK, as long as it's in this area of the forum, but then in your above post, you say insults are unacceptable. That's seems very unclear to me, as I think insults of any kind, shouldn't be tolerated. Also, does this mean, that your PF's TOS is just non-existant now?

I actually stopped posting in the lounge forum, due in large to the insults. IMO this isn't going to stop that behavior, and you'll never be able to regulate where people are posting. I think this is a bad move on PF's part, as it seems like you're encouraging this, when it should all really stop in the first place. That's just my opinion.

well said nemone. i hope this works and i am glad this has taken place.

LB, I think what she's saying is that I CAN'T say "you are an a-hole," but I CAN say "quit acting like an a-hole." Subtle difference, but enough to make it less personal, I guess. I'm interested in seeing how this all plays out. I'm not convinced it'll work, but we'll see. I'm open.
Oh, & I'm not really saying you're an a-hole or acting like one. That was just an example.

Yesterday I was asked if I was biopolar. I knew they meant bipolar. To me this was an insult not just to me but to the millions of people in the world who do suffer from bipolarism, depression, anxiety and panic disorders. How do I go about bringing that person to the outside? Candycrazy

Plus I think this is a great idea. Sometimes conflicts are caused by misunderstanding and unless two people communicate with each other they can not come to a compromis/

Nemone,
I totaly get what your saying and I think its a good idea. It will be just like when someone asks about a game in the lounge, someone usually will direct them to the proper board for that game. Now when people start to argue somewhere, people can direct them to this thread. Of course some people won't like the idea, but its not up to them, and I think this is going to end up being a popular thread. Thank you!!

Jen

great idea! It seems to be working already.

so, peeps, enough of being nice, BRING IT ON!!!

i think LB already started LOL

Surpise, surprise Dariusenka. lol I knew it would be started by one person too. However, as Nemone said people who are sensitive shouldn't come in here at all so that leaves it up to people to make the decision for themselves.

I don't know how it will work either but at least Nemone is doing her job well. Thanks Nemone.

great idea

It seems like you are always going to have one or two posters who complain about everybody and everything. That is either just their nature or the way they get their kicks. But sometimes there is just miscommunication because you can't tell by tone what someone is trying to say. I think this is a wonderful way of taking care of it. As far as people name calling if they refuse to compromise I will be reporting them. Candy

candy, you are so right.

you really cant hear the tone of voice.

latte thought the other day that i was mad at her but i was just being very sarcastic but she couldnt know. i wrote a joke and she misunderstood. well, she is fortunately one of the people here that want to have fun so she never started accusing me or whatever. because it really was only misunderstanding.

Daria said I was funky looking. :(

Heather89,
I said you seem like a person who might smell bad. Want to take it outside? Oh carp, we're already here...hmmm.

Nemone, while I think this is a good idea, sort of, not really....I agree with LB that it is basically giving permission to violate the TOS, when all we really needed was stronger moderation in the threads and enforcement of the TOS to begin with. I find it highly unlikely that most people even realize they are being a pain in the arse, let alone will admit it and bring it here. Plus this being one thread, as opposed to a forum of its own, means if you did want to gripe, you will need to eventually scroll thru pages not involving you, since the top post is the oldest post, not the newest, and there is no ability to create a new thread. And for those of us that try to bring a little levity to tense situations, it makes even less sense, because we know the most abusive posters don't post in the Lounge anyway or realize what this is you are trying to do here. Just my opinion.

Lattegato, you sound like a person who hacks up hairballs often, which smell worse than my showergel, I'm sure.

(it's so hard to type that with a straight face, lol)

I seem like a person who may be curious as to why exactly you may be sniffing hairballs in the first place??

It's hard not to when you keep hacking them up on my pillow while I'm sleeping. I mean.. ewwww. Cmon already.